14 posts tagged “family”

Just got home from a party at Club Filipino in San Juan. It was my niece's first birthday. she's a real doll.

It was fun and the place was really classic.

The party was filled with old people, plus the place's ambiance made it interesting, but the theme was magical yet clowny.

One thing I love about the place are the oil paintings of one of my favorite artists, Fernando Amorsolo at a cafe shop. However, the paintings were encased in glass yet gave uncomplementing reflection of light from the outside. The paintings' beauty are hidden.

There was a funny thing that happened.. my cousin, the celebrated mom, rushed to me and pulled me and told me that she'll introduce someone to me. "OK", I said.. and she looked at me as if trying to say something.

I think she hoped that my eyes would sparkle. But I'm certain she had introduced us before.. but I gave the same reaction. ^_^

Oh, it's been a while since I updated.

Part of my time now goes to gardening, I have a relatively big garden to fill.. and I began digging my garden the other day and literally shovelling soil like I work at a construction site. ^_^

Whomever would say that gardening is easy should be hanged. It's really difficult. It requires work and sweat. In fact, my body is in pain and my muscles are hurt. *sad lips*

My work is somewhat rewarding, though, however, it is pretty expensive, I need to collect plants and do extensive flower and tree choices to make the perfect tropical landscaping I have in mind.

Some of my favorite flowers are in a group called Mussaenda Philippica I learned about it a few years back and that there are several hybrid flowers in it and are named after the First Ladies of the Philippines..  wow, a flower created and named after you.. could there be any ghey-er than that? ^_^

Here are the "Doñas"...

- named after the 1st wife of General Emilio Aguinaldo, Hilaria del Rosario

- named after the wife of President Manuel Quezon, Aurora Aragon

- named after the wife of President Jose P. Laurel, Pacencia Hidalgo

- named after the 2nd wife of President Sergio Osmeña, Esperanza Limjap

- named after the wife of President Manuel Roxas, Trinidad de Leon

- named after the wife of President Elpidio Quirino. Alicia Syquia

- named after the wife of President Ramon Magsaysay, Luz Banzon

- named after the wife of President Carlos P. Garcia, Leonila Dimataga

- named after the second wife of President Diosdado Macapagal, Evangelina Macaraeg

- Named after the wife of President Ferdinand E. Marcos, Imelda Romualdez

- named after the first lady president of the Philippines, President Corazon Cojuangco-Aquino

- named after the wife of President Fidel V. Ramos, Amelita Martinez

 

..but, as a girl's notebook asked, "why isn't there a flower named after Former First Lady Loi Ejercito and President Gloria Arroyo?" ^_^

A couple of years ago, I tried to find my dad.

I failed.

(x)

Today, he showed up.

*** ***

That was a life changing scene.

I uncovered things in me.

I see them very differently now.

*** ***

Oh my god.

I had an embarrassing moment in front of my mom today.

It's about her rather unwise decision to be part of resolving an incident last night with a broken MERALCO post in our area which caused the loss of electricity.

Since there was no electricity, my friends invited me to their place across our house and they're having a simple drinking party as a birthday celebration.

I joined and got drunk.

While having lunch, I was having hang over from last night's party.

Probably, my dazed self started the confrontation.. I did it with the best intentions to remind my mom that what she did was dangerous.. blah, blah, blah..

Until, I brought up old issues of "tsismis" in the neighborhood that involve her and how she somehow took our names with it.

So, she defended herself by giving her argument of how I'm doing bad things at home and how I'm greasing the same with our name.

She said, "Yeah, how about you and your friends? You know, I saw condoms. What can you say about that?"

My jaw literally dropped.. I wasn't prepared with what she just said! Of course, she didn't see that.

I left the dining room smoothly. I was speechless.

But I immediately walked up to my room after I left her sight yet knowing that running away won't erase what I just heard from my mom.

How can I face my mom now?

I knew what she was talking about.. I cleaned the room with my trashy clothes and I threw the rubbers I used the other day.

I made sure that those were under the clothes, but I suppose that my mom checked what was in the bag since it was full of clothing.

My stupid mistake was I didn't throw it away immediately to the garbage but I just left it beside the garbage.

When I do that, I make sure that it's neatly done and the secret's well-kept but what happened with me and a cute guy in my room was a mess to my mom.

There's a positive note with what she said after, though.. "Do it elsewhere."

At least I know that she accepts the fact that I do "things" secretly.. but I can't afford being confronted.. especially, by my mom.

Maybe, I cannot bear thinking how my mom thinks about memories of me when I was a child, and now I engage myself to such things., and she discovers it in a not-so-smooth way.

How long will I feel uneasy in front of my mom? Gawd!

It was my sister's birthday a few days ago, we ate at Friday's, SM Mall of Asia last night.. my mom wasn't there because she had to work for the neighborhood.

Just a simple dinner and an intimate celebration.

My brother and I surprised her by making arrangements with the staff to sing for her, something Friday's has to offer.

It was cool and I got full.

My auntie/"ninang" celebrated her birthday last weekend, she threw a small informal dinner for 15 at home with us and few of her neighbor friends.

I loved her dinner party! It's themed "Kamayan", where she set up a long table at the backyard garden under the trees and covered it with banana leaves and no spoon and fork will be used, only with our hands, then a nice mood music set the cold evening, and lit torches made of kawayan on the garden walls made the scene very tropical.

She served seafood, crabs, stuffed squid, "sugpo", then there's noodles and rice.

After the dinner, it was turned into a bar where the music became upbeat and modern, and only candles filled the area.. I left while they started getting drunk, I know how different their generation is from mine. Aha. ^_^

Each person has 8 last names derived from our grandparents and in the modern times, rarely do I meet people who know which side of their family they're a part of.

We went to San Miguel Village in Makati City for a family reunion at the Pingol residence.

It was a rare occasion for somehow they're distant relatives already, more of "4th cousins" even 5th.

We were told that it'll happen during the evening, but I said that I won't make it because I have shift that evening, so we had it changed to noon time.. they wouldn't allow that I miss it because I should be there for the family tree book I'm updating.

It was really fun, although not all Siongco/s were there, it is a great way to make it a tradition.

I had a little dream last November 1st, it happened.

I have a dream again, a bigger one, I'll make it happen.

Thinking that there are still a lot whom I haven't met yet.. and we should meet, because after all, we all have the same great-great-great grandparents ^_^

I always feel sad everytime we visit the cemetery.

It's as if this is a mockery of how my family has turned out to what it is now, and a nightmare that would haunt me in the future.

The part of our family mausoleum was sold as if it's the material equivalent that my family has lost what we once had. On the other side of my brain, though, I think of it as a signal for us to get closer with each other, yet I sometimes think that it would be best if it was otherwise, that it's better if we were scattered in a big lot.

The family who bought our lot belongs to the family of a classmate in college, and the funny thing is that they possess the Filipino traditions that my family don't practice anymore, which I, with all my heart's desire, would want them in ours.

I envy them.

Every year, they have so many kids, they don't seem to bother on how messy their site was.. toys, food everywhere, bed blankets on the tiled floor, sitting anywhere one wants to.. because everything would be cleaned up after.

And the best thing is that they're noisy.

We visited another family mausoleum, this time, it was our family's cousin.

That moment, I was alive again, there were so many members this year, we had a little reunion.. each family was introduced and we saw cousins we never thought existed.

And the best thing is that they're noisy.. like really noisy, I loved it.

A few years back, I started continuing our family tree booklet, but since I couldn't seem to move on because of my grandfather's death, I lost interest.

But with the little reunion we had at the mausoleum, I am determined to work on it again.

I've met some cousins whose names I only hear and through the family tree booklet I continued, but it was only that time I met them.

I'm inspired.

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I can't remember how my parents met, but I'm certain I've already asked my mom how.. the sweet stories that for some are very important to have something to share to their future families.

How did it come to this? I don't remember any major fights at home, yes, there were fights and occasional brawling but if I'd consider them now, it's not much of a factor.. but then, I'd say I am not concerned on whatever happened between them, so I may be wrong.

That Wednesday night, I called Susan and asked her to come with me to look for my dad, everyone was having dinner, they asked me where I was going, "Just out", I said.

Yet, I was on a mission, I was fully clothed, I tried to hide my face as possible with a cap so the night would even keep me more, I knew the place where we'd go, it's not a typical place for a wandering person, much more, a person who doesn't know much about it.

"Let's meet at the LRT Carriedo station, I'll be by the stairs, there's Andok's and Philtrust Bank nearby", she said.

"I'm with my boyfriend", she added. *a relief*

I took a cab. The driver resisted to take me to the destination because he said the traffic was bad and it may take long, he dropped me off at a station away from where we are suppose to meet.

Claro M. Recto and Rizal Avenues, more commonly known as Avenida are not ideal streets at night for the prim, the plainer you look, the more likely you'll be safe.

It was the first time I walked past the newly-renovated Avenida, I really felt different, I was always on alert, my grip to my bag was tight. The many sights which followed me and eye contacts with passing people made me really scared, the street was well-lit but the people lingered under the train tracks, between the old buildings and establishments.

Beggars, small vendors, bystanders, old people sitting on benches, lovers kissing by the dark columns, male hookers, prostitutes, passersby... the area was different, I definitely felt that I wasn't at a safe place, children smelling bad chemicals, dirty people who seem to completely have lost their sanity, I thought anytime, I could be robbed and be hurt.. I walked fast.

After a kilometer, I gazed around the area, I was near. Until I saw Susan and his boyfriend.. we finally met.

We took the last trip of the LRT, I got the chance to know her boyfriend, shared a few stories until we discussed about my dad.

"How did you see him again?", I started.

"I was on my way home, I was from Bulacan and I took the 3-hour jeepney ride from there, I was the only passenger that night, and your dad recognized me..", she answered.

I told her how things got to be what they are, how I came up with questions I have yet to look for the answers.

"What else did he tell you?", I asked.

"He said that what he is in right now is karma for what he did, to which he is truly sorry for", she said.

"If ever he was given the chance, he would do everything to pay the price to be forgiven."

"It was a mistake he said, he should've not made", she continued.

I felt pity. I could imagine my dad saying that, which, I know if ever, he's given the chance, he'd face the consequences.

"Did he tell you what happened... did he tell you about the other woman?", I eagerly asked.

"Yes."

"Your dad said, the woman flirted with him and successfully encouraged him to leave you, his family..."

"The woman told your dad that they'll be happy when they're together, all he needed to do is to support her financially", Susan said.

"Huh?!", my eyebrow raised.

"But the woman left your dad with another guy for more money."

"How about the kids? Does he have another family?", I interrupted.

"There aren't any."

"But I thought they're still together?", I was confused.

"After your dad left your home for another woman, they lived in together but the woman left a month after, leaving your dad completely alone."

"What!", I said and people on the train gazed towards us.

As I mellowed my anger, we continued talking.

"Your dad said that he wanted to come back home, but he was really embarrassed.. he wanted to say sorry but he had doubts that your family would accept him again, much more your mom."

"You know how popular your family is in the neighborhood, nobody can ruin the Gabriels' reputation.", she added.

We reached the other end of the railway, we walked for 10 minutes and passed through dark alleys.

Her boyfriend was very supportive, I felt shame because I felt I kept Susan all to myself, neglecting him.. but he was perfectly fine.

We reached a street from the circle of Monumento in Caloocan City, it was late night and I was really scared.

I kept the fear to myself, I am already there.. no way of backing out.

I said to Susan, "Why am I doing this? What do I want after I meet him? Why do I want to see him in the first place?"

"Maybe you just miss him", she said.

"Is he still the same person I knew? It's been too long, I know I've changed, do you think he has?"

"He was still I remember that he was when we were young... you'll know.", she answered.

"There, that's where he dropped me off two years ago, that's where he said where he could be found, we need to ask the people around, he said they know him..", she said as she points to a small dark street.

My heartbeat raised. I felt cold, I hid my face. I wanted to back out.

"Let's ask the [barker], let's cross the street." (people who call passengers), she pulled.

"Can I stay here first? You go ask, I don't want my dad to see me, I want to observe first.", I said as my stomach felt cold air, my breathing fast.

"C'mon~~", she held me on the shoulders.

We started asking a couple of people there, Susan told them the descriptions.. but the jeepney barkers knew the name but they don't know his last name.

Susan and the barkers seem to agree on each other's description.

"Pero wala na dito 'ung tambayan ng jeep ng ganyang ruta, lumipat duon", [But the jeepney station of that route has transferred], as the barker points to another street.

We walked and checked the place. We asked a couple of people.

"Ask quietly, don't make a scene!", I pinched Susan, because the guys loudly asked their colleagues and people started to gather around us.

I was worried that my dad could be there, there are a lot of jeepneys on stand-by, lined up for the passengers... he could have seen me right then and there, I want myself prepared.

We asked and we got few clues... but it seemed unreliable.

We went back to the other street and told the barkers what we got... we tried to converse again and decipher other descriptions.

"Do you have a picture there?", Susan's boyfriend asked.

"I didn't bring any, I thought we'd just ask and we'll know", I said.

As they ask, I gazed on the faces of the jeepney drivers passing by, checking if one of them could be my dad. I was hopeful.

We learned that there's shifting of station heads at the other street, we headed back immediately... we asked a new person, and they said: "May dalawang ganyang pangalan dito, isang biyaheng Paco at isang biyaheng Polo", [There are two guys who have that name, one travels to Paco and the other to Polo.]

They described the jeepney and how he looks, only Susan was describing.

"How old is your dad, anyway?" Susan's boyfriend asked.

"Bakit, tatay mo un?", a barker asked. [Why, is he your dad?]

"Ikaw ba 'ung nawawala n'yang anak?", he added. [Are you his lost son?]

"I'm not lost", I said.

We waited for a few minutes, we walked a little and had a few snacks... still checking if the barker's description of what was said his jeepney has arrived... but we couldn't no longer.

The barker said that if it left exactly the time before we arrived, it may take us forever in waiting.

I lost hope, I said to Susan, "It has been two years, he could have changed routes and transferred place, he even could've another name like an alias, for all we know. Or he could've found another job. Many can happen in 2 years."

So we went home instead, tired and feeling hopeless yet, we discussed further about my dad.

I left a small note to the barker who said he'll help us find him, to let my dad know that I was there, looked and waited for him but we failed. Hoping that the message would remove the need for searching, but rather head on to the waiting and meeting. It wrote,

"NOEL"

February 28, 2pm.

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It has almost been three years since I heard the current state of my dad, but I found myself interested on it just recently.

I remember when my mom called me and told me about dad's "other woman" ten years ago, she was in tears, she was serious during our one-on-one, but my reaction didn't show too much concern, after all, I was too young.

All I could remember was that he was always in Baguio because of work and goes home whenever time allows it, it looked just normal, yet I didn't know that it was start of the shattering conditions of the family.

The time after Susan told me that she knows how to get to my dad, I went to my mom and asked her, "Do you know where dad is?"

She said, "No."

I didn't tell her that I somehow know something, the question that stopped me from continuing was "Why would I tell her that for?". I also considered that she may actually know something yet she didn't want us to know exactly the details.

As I grow up, and as I get to be aware of the situation, I have accepted the fact it was already there and that we cannot change it, my mom's family was behind her and pursued to file a separation case, to which, us, the children have no right to intervene but to stay with my mom.

After everything that had happened, there was no confrontation between my mom and my dad, completely no communication and no conversation between my grandparents until we went to Masinloc, Zambales.

Masinloc, Zambales is a vacation place for us, some of my dad's relatives chose that area where they want to live, they acquired properties and we occasionally have reunions there.

So, they felt that confrontations and conversations are necessary to settle it once and for all, we went over and stayed for a week, my aunts from my dad's side were there and my dad's mom was there too.

As we arrived and entered the gate, I really felt that there's something that will happen, I was never wrong. As my mom saw my lola, she embraced her and my mom devastatingly cried, without even greeting "hi!".

I couldn't cry because I feel I shouldn't, it was confusion as to what will happen next, all I could think of was I should be strong. We were approached by our relatives to somehow comfort us, it was really emotional and it was the first time I saw my mom seem broken into pieces.

Anyway, last Wednesday night, after finishing my obligations, I took a bath and from out of nowhere, I don't how it came to be, but I felt that I need to see my dad.

So, I went to Susan's house and asked for her number. I phoned their house but I was told that she left for work, I texted her, "Susan, it's Noel, are you busy? I need to talk to you. thanks!"

"Why? We can meet today", she replied.

I called her and after our "How are you's", I told her, "Susan, remember you told me that you know how to get to my dad?"

"Yes."

"Can you take me to him now?", I requested.

"Only it's a little secret, nobody should know about this..", I added.

"Ok."

And in the middle of the night, Susan and I met, we went to the place where my dad told Susan almost three years ago where he could be found, and we looked for him......